Happy Valentines Day , hope everyone had a heartfelt day filled with love from your family , friends , and loved ones :)

my whole life

i've tried so hard to push this feeling away , keep it locked inside walking away so mad at the world but everyday just feels like a war , and i'm really just fighting with my self & actually i'm just too tired. i have to just be me , the real me. everyone has secrets & they're called secrets for a reason . but why ? why me ? i just don't get it. life is harder & when you're different & special sometimes you have to get used being alone . i can't , every time i just thinking about death , how would I die? . seriously i get so scared , i've never felt like this before, I could not live with something that scary anymore.


Until finally i found someone who i called friend . his name F .. , i don't know his full name , but i always called him "F". he's nice and adorable , humble and definitely very handsome . he always help me for everything that i actually can't do better , he always give me good advice , support me when i'm down.he can always make me see things in a different perspective. but if he was getting angry , he become ...... you can't imagine . i don't know for sure who's that guy ? that i know is he always give me good influence to be better & happy . i never felt like this before , even when i'm with my friends, best friend , or my special one . i feel safe in the darkness , like an angel who came in earth and gave me happiness and a beam of light to breathe . I can't tell how much i feel happy and excited with him , although i don't even know him , where he from . He ever wants to introduced me to his friend. Her name Maria , & she so damn pretty . But , i also do not know where she from. Maria is nice too , she loves drawing. But Maria a shy type too. & sometimes she just disappear. doesn't bother me. One day i almost introduced him to my friends . till finally i realized that "F" definitely very different . My friends can't see him . Can you believe that ? and it had become very awkward and weird . now i'm pretty much sure that F is a different creature or whatever people said . i don't fucking care OK , He's nice , he's my besfriend . But after graduation Senior high school , i rarely see him anymore . so sad ... i miss him :( . for the last , if you can hear me , or watch .. i just wanna say that i really miss you F.

BALI

This has been amazing vacay! . Friends - Family time , met some new people , ate great food , got a lot of ethnic souvenir , i feel loved . actually this my third time to visit Bali , but i thought this is my first time really enjoy the day with happy family .

December , 18 2011 . my first time to sing with play a piano . (keyboard actually) and i sing my own song "For Me

Merry Xmas!

Sophia is found!

The Last episode of The Walking Dead (2011) was definitely emotional , Sophia is finally found but the worst has happen to her. she walked out farm become a walker . what a great show! T_T


WHEN SOPHIA RUN AWAY:



THE FINAL EPISODE:






TRIBUTE TO SOPHIA , i will miss her .I'm heartbroken now that she's gone. :(

"When you're different when you're special , sometimes you have to get used to being alone"

INVITATION SHOWCASE

Maybe i'm the one of unlucky enchancers around the world (who's with me?) like i said , i'm the biggest fans of The Script , Maroon 5 , Owl City , and (Greyson Chance). then i heard that he will visit Indonesia ?? i immediately find the information . first time i heard his songs on youtube (14 years old youtube sensation) , I am minded to buy his album. "Waiting outside the lines" is the first song before I knew who he was . Next week i'm looking for other song then "Unfried you" and finally i found all his song , "Cheyenne" , "Purple sky" ,"Slipping Away" , Definitely cool!! . The problem is WHY I CAN'T GET THE INVITATION ?? we can get the invitation by buying his album BUT the cd is sold out in Jakarta , moreover i live in Yogyakarta and no album here . Holy crap! many ways to get the invitation actually , but I'm not interested in something that is uncertain or gambling , whatever! I wish I could meet him someday. he gave me a lot of inspiration .

Like i said in the past on Twitter , that i'm definitely excited about a lot of things . and one of which is that i LOVE fashion! actually , i am going to show you guys my imagination on LB but that's too difficult to upload these pictures , moreover this week i have to more focus to my midterm exams hell yeah! So this is my Islamic looks .

this is some that I bring with me : Sajadah , Tasbih , Creative Chinese figure . i gave the name "boil" . that's flashdisk actually , but i like to wear it become necklace and something shaped like a piano that is my blackberry

May all the joys of life showered on you!

HAPPY EID ADHA MUBARAK!

i wanna eat ur brain hurrraaaahh!!

Kim Kardashian , everyone knows her . even my mother always watch her reality show on E every single day . first time i saw the show , i thought it's pretty much like face my own family life . not like their wealth (i'm not rich , my family not rich) but the behavior & character of each family member . li like Kris Jenner , Khloe and Rob . they're all funny . Back to Kim , she's always been controversial . came just 72 days after Kardashian and Humphries married in a lavish ceremony in August with a sad face, Kim explained that marriage divorce plans . WTF!? first time i knew the news from my friend . i guess it was just a joke and then i watch TV and then ... I have no idea . What is the real cause of Kim dissolve his marriage with Kris?